You Deserve To Be More Than The Side Chick

I use to only get turned on by emotionally unavailable men…⁣

⁣

Eek 😅 I’ve wanted to talk about this for so long and source said now is the time⁣.

⁣

By emotionally unavailable men I mean men who were in other committed relationships.⁣

⁣

I loved the push/pull and the instability of the dynamic. It really fed my anxious attachment styles needs and wild enough I thought that’s how things were supposed to feel with men.⁣

⁣

Anxious, hard, wavering, exciting, in a sense it also felt dangerous..⁣

⁣

So much inside of me didn’t feel deserving of having someone’s full attention, love, trust, commitment so I settled for scraps and let these patterns run with some men for over 10+ years (wild right ? ….trust me, I know)⁣

⁣

This part of me I like to call Side Chick Steph..

I have been healing her deeply over the last 3 years because my truest desire is to have a secure masculine presence in my life, a love so deep, nourishing, unwavering and committed (not just to one another, but to ourselves).

I just didn’t feel like I was truly deserving of it or if I got it how was I going to keep it? so I settled in so many ways, so many times, with so many men.⁣

⁣

I share with you because I know I’m not the only woman who’s felt this way or who is working on healing this part of herself on her journey and I want you to know you deserve a man who is ready to be fully involved in your dynamic together (whatever that looks like for you!)

Also bc I feel like I’ve hid this part of myself and felt inauthentic in a way not to share so 🤷🏼‍♀️🙂⁣

Have you felt this way before? I'd love to hear your experience!